When one or both spouses decide to divorce, it often comes after a long period of hesitation and inner struggle. It’s a big, brain-twisting decision, especially when kids are involved. Forced love never brings happiness. Each destiny, each circumstance, each hidden corner of a marriage is something only the two people inside truly understand – whether their union still fulfills its purpose or not. Over time, conflicts and tensions build up, and eventually, the balloon of marriage bursts. Sometimes, all it takes is that one final drop of water to overflow the cup, and the marriage inevitably comes to an end.
Divorce is never something that can be resolved overnight. The court judgment on paper may be swift, but the pain it leaves behind has no instant cure. Some fall into depression, others feel like they are on the edge of madness if the issues aren’t addressed thoroughly. Outsiders may look in with blame -“Why divorce when you’ve been living together for so long?” – adding pressure, prejudice, and unwanted advice that only confuse those directly involved.
To cope, many couples quietly separate without telling their parents or friends, living apart long before filing for divorce. After all, no one who is truly happy and fulfilled chooses to end up in court. Whether a marriage is joyful, satisfying, and complete is something only the people inside it can know.
Leaving aside the complicated emotions, this piece will focus on practical things worth noting when going through a divorce:
Can Parents or Family Members Oppose a Divorce?
This is a common occurrence, where families may prohibit or obstruct one or both parties from divorcing for various reasons.
However, divorce is a right enshrined in the Constitution.
“The Constitution is the fundamental law of the Socialist Republic of Viet Nam, possessing the highest legal effect. All other legal documents must conform to the Constitution. Any act in violation of the Constitution shall be dealt with” (Article 119, Constitution 2013).
Article 36 of the Constitution provides:
- Men and women have the right to marry and divorce. Marriage shall be voluntary, progressive, monogamous, and based on equality and mutual respect between husband and wife.
- The State shall protect marriage and family, and safeguard the rights of mothers and children.
Accordingly, divorce is a legitimate right that no one may obstruct or deprive.
What constitutes obstruction of divorce?
“Obstruction of divorce refers to acts of threatening, mentally coercing, maltreating, abusing, demanding property, or other acts intended to force another person to maintain a marital relationship against their will.” (Clause 10, Article 3, Law on Marriage and Family).
Thus, any person obstructing divorce may be subject to administrative sanctions: “A fine ranging from VND 3,000,000 to 5,000,000 shall be imposed for acts of obstructing marriage, demanding property in marriage, or obstructing divorce.”
(Article 55, Decree 82/2020/NĐ-CP).
When may the husband’s right to request divorce be temporarily suspended?
This applies only in cases where “the wife is pregnant, has given birth, or is nursing a child under 12 months of age.” (Clause 3, Article 51, Law on Marriage and Family).
Principles for division of spousal property upon divorce:
Joint property of husband and wife shall be divided equally, taking into account the following factors:
- The circumstances of the family and of each spouse;
- The contributions of each spouse to the creation, maintenance, and development of the marital property. Housework performed by either spouse is considered as income-generating labor;
- Protection of the legitimate interests of each party in production, business, and professional activities, enabling them to continue generating income;
- Faults of each party in the violation of spousal rights and obligations.
Note:
Children under 36 months of age shall be placed under the direct custody of the mother, except where the mother is deemed incapable of care, or where both parents otherwise agree in the best interest of the child.
Is it lawful for a spouse to hire a private investigator during or after divorce proceedings?
Private investigation services are not legally recognized in Viet Nam. Acts of hiring individuals to surveil the other spouse – even after the marital relationship has ended – constitute violations of privacy and personal rights protected by law. Any deliberate intrusion, storage, or dissemination of private life information with the intent to defame the other party’s dignity constitutes a violation under the Constitution, the Civil Code, the Criminal Code, and the Law on Marriage and Family.
Article 32 of the Civil Code provides for the right of individuals to their images.
Article 38 of the Civil Code provides for the right to privacy, personal secrets, and family secrets:
“1. Private life, personal secrets, and family secrets are inviolable and protected by law.”
Article 12 of the Civil Procedure Code 2015 further provides: “Individuals are entitled to the protection of their honor, dignity, and reputation, as well as the inviolability of their residence, private life, personal secrets, safety, and confidentiality of correspondence, telephone conversations, and telegrams.”
Dossier for consensual divorce shall include:
- Joint petition for recognition of consensual divorce (signed by both spouses). Some may wonder why this is sometimes titled a “Statement of Claim.” This is because the “Statement of Claim” is a standardized form used for all disputes, including divorce.
- Marriage certificate (original). In case of loss, the parties must request an extract of the marriage certificate from the People’s Committee where the marriage was registered.
- National identity card / Citizen identification card / Passport of both spouses.
- Birth certificates of children (if any).
- Other documents as deemed necessary.
Note: If the spouses reach an agreement on property division, it is sufficient to state “The spouses have reached agreement on property settlement.”
Divorce at the request of one party is stipulated under Article 56 of the 2014 Law on Marriage and Family:
“When either spouse petitions for divorce and conciliation at the Court fails, the Court shall grant divorce if there are grounds that the other spouse has committed domestic violence or has seriously violated the rights and obligations of the husband and wife, causing the marriage to fall into serious condition, the common life to become impossible, and the purpose of marriage unattainable.”
Examples of “serious condition, common life impossible, and purpose of marriage unattainable” include:
a) Absence of spousal affection, e.g., no love, care, or assistance; prolonged separation; neglect of spousal obligations;
b) Adultery;
c) Insults or acts harming the dignity, honor, reputation, or health of the other spouse;
d) Inequality in rights and obligations; lack of respect for freedom of belief or religion; failure to provide support for each other’s development.
(Article 4, Resolution No. 01/2024/NQ-HĐTP guiding the application of laws in resolving cases on marriage and family).
Alimony obligations upon divorce:
“Support may be provided periodically – monthly, quarterly, semi-annually, annually – or in a lump sum.”
Proper and regular child support reflects a man’s responsibility. However, in practice, some fail to fulfill this obligation, citing financial hardship, or neglecting it due to a new partner or family, thereby abandoning their duty toward minor children. The law affirms: “The non-custodial parent has the obligation to provide child support.” Therefore, no justification exists for evading this responsibility.
Providing for one’s child is not a favor – it is a legal duty.
Court fee for uncontested divorce: VND 300,000.
Sidebar:
Some separations play out like detective thrillers. One side loudly declares: “Go date whoever you want! You live your life, I live mine. I won’t sign the divorce papers though – let that marriage certificate just sit there.” Meanwhile, their sneaky little fingers are busy installing GPS trackers, snooping through phones, and monitoring, control messages like a bargain-bin hacker or a second-rate spy agency – tracking every “seen” on Messenger, all just to win custody and blame. Honestly, the whole separation/ the divorce process looks like an episode of “Detective of the Year.”
Then there are couples who turn the living room into a Shakespearean tragedy (with a rap battle twist). They scream, insult, humiliate each other in front of their kids – lyrics dripping with venom. The outcome? Kids crumble under pressure, drop out of school, even run away.
And it doesn’t end there. There a case, even after divorce papers are signed, keep their “control freak” habits alive – grabbing the other’s phone, peeking into emails, demanding to know “where, what, with whom?”. No title, no ties, no rights anymore – and still acting like a life partner? What do we even call that?
For heaven’s sake, even rifling through your kid’s diary or your sibling’s work documents would be less offensive.
Technological know-how, business know-how, and the trade secrets of others are treated in the same manner. They all fall under the category of “inviolable privacy rights.”
The old folks weren’t wrong: “When husband and wife are in sync, they can drain the ocean dry,” but “one small leak can sink the whole boat.” Marriage, if left untended, is just like a balcony plant – ignored long enough, the sun scorches it, the rain rots it, and one day, all that’s left is the pot. Joy shows in eyes, smiles, and faces; misery weighs heavy and shows just as clearly.
At the end of the day, divorce shouldn’t turn people into villains – petty, snarky, tearing each other down. It should leave room for a simple hello, a respectful nod, and a partnership in raising the kids. Because every insult only makes you look uglier in the eyes of the one you’re insulting.
A famous director once said: if he were a judge, he’d grant women divorces without even asking for a reason – because women are trained to endure, to tolerate. So if she’s asking for a divorce, it means she’s already endured more than enough.
Paperwork? That’s the easy part – sign, stamp, done. What takes time is healing, learning to co-parent with dignity, and treating families on both sides with decency.
And for women, the best “revenge” post-divorce isn’t bitterness – it’s strength, independence, and resilience. “Independence – Freedom – Happiness” – you read it every day at work, now go live it.
So, don’t torment each other over a single piece of paper. That marriage certificate was meant to mark love, unity, and commitment – not to serve as shackles in the dungeon of “marital hell.”
And yes – someone once asked: “Can we have the wedding without the registration?”
